i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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