So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
