Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize