She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
