it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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