I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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