"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
