to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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