She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
