how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't deserve a penis
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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