Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
