the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize