Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
