I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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