i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
