So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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