I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
