why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
