Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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