how can u be prego again
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
