Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
