My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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