Duck Duck Cougar?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
