Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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