I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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