Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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