dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
