It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize