Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
