Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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