it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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