I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need a beard to bite.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
