Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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