I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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