absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize