Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
