So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
