Yo dont text me then not text me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
