whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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