this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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