im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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