You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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