So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
