Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize