Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
