i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your penis caused this!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
