Got a toothbrush?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
