at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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