***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
As shirtless as possible
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My ass is underappreciated
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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