i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
