She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
