if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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