You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
