First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just sucked dick on a ferry
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
