I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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