At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
