When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
