Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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