so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
