okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
