If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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