i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
