i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize