Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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